| Going raw |
[Oct. 21st, 2009|07:22 pm] |
Jessie always wondered why she wanted to go raw so badly. It's partially my fault I think. I want our body to be healthy so I tried to put the idea into her own mind that raw and exercise were very important. She listened but she hasn't gone fully raw in a long time. And when she is raw it doesn't last even a month.
I don't want to eat meat. I don't want to eat cooked foods. It feels so gross! How can I get her to see that. I don't have full control over our body and to be honest I'm not sure I want to. But the more she smokes and the more she eats horrible food the more I want to just stop her in any way I can.
But I made a promise a long time ago that I wouldn't try and take over. I keep my promises. |
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| Once again... |
[Oct. 20th, 2009|10:27 pm] |
...I am back. It has been a terribly long time since I was able to write on here. We had been integrated for a while and I personally haven't been able to come out. Others have but as for me...nope.
Things are better than the last time I had been out. I'm still not happy about living in New York but I've come to terms with it. I know this placement isn't forever and for that I am greateful.
Things aren't the way I would like them though. The house could use some cleaning. It's not dirty, just messy. This body needs to go back to being a vegan and while Jess has been exercising she hasn't been exactly taking care of herself.
I hope that I can help her make this body as healthy as it should be. That means no meat, no smoking, and exercising regularly. I would prefer to exercise every day but I know that isn't always a possibility. As is we won't be able to do it right after the kids get home from school...at least I don't think so.
I'll figure something out. |
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| It's been a long time |
[Nov. 16th, 2007|07:32 pm] |
It has been a very long time since I have posted anything. A long time, that is, since I have had the chance to post anything. I do not like how things have turned out. We are in New York, a state I despise, and Jessie had left things a mess. Her life, and as a result my life, is in upheaval. It is time for a change. She has agreed that she needs to eat healthier and to start working out and to quit smoking. She is trying, I will give her that. But she needs to try harder. I wonder if she can.
I want things to be better for Us. Things NEED to get better. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|09:54 am] |
I haven't been on here in a while. Not much to say but wanted to update anyway. Just painted our nails pink. Jessie won't be too happy about that when she notices. I'm trying to pretend to be her so her uncle won't notice. I think I'm doing a good job. He's pretty oblivious anyway.
Jessie is just having so much trouble. Thought I would take over for a while. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 23rd, 2006|08:57 am] |
I know I write about yoga a lot but it's mostly what I do.
I just love how it makes me feel after. I feel limber. My arms and legs feel longer in a way because the muscles are nicely stretched. And I think we're becomming thinner too! The other day we were able to touch the floor with our hands while standing and bending over. That's not easy to do usually!
I just hope the poison...er...medicine that Jessica is taking doesn't hinder our ability to lose weight this way. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2006|10:11 am] |
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Michael has been released. I don't know how to feel about this. Jessica told him to be her compassion. So far so good. No violent tendencies. Lets hope this works. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2006|12:58 pm] |
I can't believe I just ate a pastry. I hate those things. But I was seriously craving it and ate half of it before I realized what I was doing. That never happens to me!
I managed to do some yoga today. I could feel the resistence in the body. We really need to start doing it more often. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|05:37 pm] |
[17:24] AmethystRose667: How are you this evening?
[17:24] SirSpirius: Good, Yaro
[17:24] SirSpirius: Have we met?
[17:24] SirSpirius: I am Elondriel
[17:24] AmethystRose667: Hi Driel I think we have
[17:24] SirSpirius: I think so too
[17:25] SirSpirius: How are you, miss?
[17:25] AmethystRose667: I'm fine...still trying to get over the fact that Jessie and Jessica have integrated with one another
[17:26] SirSpirius: Oh they have?
[17:26] AmethystRose667: yes
[17:26] SirSpirius: How does this effect you?
[17:26] AmethystRose667: I don't want to integrate, I want to stay separate. But now Jessie/Jessica...whatever...is starting to wonder what it would be like to integrate everyone
[17:27] SirSpirius: Oh dear
[17:27] AmethystRose667: The whole thing is giving me a headache
[17:27] SirSpirius: We are starting to integrate parts that are the same
[17:27] AmethystRose667: She said she won't until everyone is OK with it so that's good at least
[17:27] SirSpirius: Cali and Ca Lew and Luna
[17:27] AmethystRose667: nods
[17:27] SirSpirius: but not the others
[17:28] SirSpirius: I would find that murderous personally
[17:28] AmethystRose667: I don't know how to think of it.
[17:28] AmethystRose667: I mean, it was consentual
[17:28] SirSpirius: Right
[17:28] AmethystRose667: But now we are one less
[17:28] SirSpirius: Or are you? I mean you ahve every right to look at it that way
[17:29] AmethystRose667: what do you mean?
[17:29] SirSpirius: But it was my view that Jessica2 was just an offshoot of Jessie herself
[17:29] SirSpirius: Feelings she would not act on
[17:30] AmethystRose667: perhaps
[17:30] SirSpirius: It's just a theory
[17:30] SirSpirius: You're there ^^
[17:30] AmethystRose667: :) yes, I am her
[17:30] AmethystRose667: e
[17:30] AmethystRose667: here*
[17:30] SirSpirius: So you would know better than I
The whole time I'm talking I can feel Jessica as if she were looking over my shoulder and pressing into my third eye chakra. I had to shake myself, the way Jessie sometimes does, in order to get rid of the sensation. Now I feel more like myself. *sigh* |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2006|01:24 pm] |
What is it about my yahoo profile that makes men think they have even a chance with me? Is it the "married but looking" even though it says "we're not looking for casual encounters with men" ???
Seriously...what is it? |
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| wtf |
[Jan. 14th, 2006|12:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
Yaro means bastard(used toward males) in japanese. I just found this out! It's used in a lot of cuss words. OMG! |
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| I hate meat |
[Jan. 10th, 2006|03:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  grumpy | ] |
Jessie ate some meat today and now I feel sick. I don't understand why she feels it's so hard to go vegan. We'll feel much happier and healthier if she just does so. |
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| Hair cut |
[Jan. 9th, 2006|10:22 am] |
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I was overjoyed to find out that Jessie wanted to get rid of our dreads and dismayed that she had to cut our hair to do so. I was all ready to do treatments on our hair to repair the damage. Now we have a very short hairstyle that is driving me crazy. Oh well, it'll grow out...right? |
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| Detoxing |
[Jan. 6th, 2006|06:46 pm] |
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I think our body is detoxing. I just spent way too much time in the bathroom. Yuck. All I could think was it had to be the tea I drank yesterday. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|09:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
I'm so happy! I've been doing yoga every day...belly dancing about every other day (when I get the chance)....starting to get to eat my veggies! Yum and yay! I'm just so happy. Oh and did I mention that the smoking is over and done with? Granted, she ate a donut today but I won't let that get in the way of my happiness! lol
*dances around the room* |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|01:57 pm] |
Jessie is slowly comming out more and more. though when she does she yells or is depressed. So, here I am trying to pretend to be her. I am getting us to quit smoking though. Well, partially through the nagging of the husband, who doesn't want us smoking anyway. And partially because it's just gross! lol
I'm sitting here trying to figure out what's going on. I just got used to the idea of being host. I even decided what I'm going to do about certain aspects of our life. Then I start to feel that familiar push back as I lose control for a bit.
I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking too much. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|03:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
I didn't get to bellydance today and I'm a little bumed about that. I would do it now but the roommate is sleeping on the couch and I don't want to wake him. At least the child is playing quietly and the baby is upstairs sleeping. I guess I'll go check on her and then do some surfing on the net. I'm really quite bored. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|11:47 am] |
Name the era, and you can name every artist from
it. You've got an eye for design and a knack
for feng shui. Color schemes, architecture, and
objt d'art - these are all your forts.
What people love: You're the perfect person to shop
with.
What people hate: They have to clean their house
whenever you come over.
What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| just stuff |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|08:21 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | refreshed | ] |
I can't believe I feel the urge to smoke. Me! I hate smoking. But, half the people in our system smoke so naturally I feel the effects. Maybe I can get us all to quit. Afterall, I've decided to make the best of being out. I'm working out, I'm cleaning, I'm trying to care for the kids...might as well quit smoking while I'm at it. Oh, and I should also try to get us on a better diet. All this junk is really getting to me. I want to go back to being vegan so bad!
I'm a little nervous about talking with the therapist today. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to say to her. I've never spoken to her before. Should be...interesting. Though hopefully Jessie takes over for the session.
I worked out this morning and also last night. I feel so good from it. My body is energized. I really missed doing that. I wonder if I'll be able to do it every day now. :D |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|05:57 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
So, Jessie wakes up with the kids and then decides she doesn't want to be out anymore. So, what does she do? She starts looking at my journal in an attempt to trigger me, which it does. I can still feel her as if we were blended a little. It's making me depressed. What is wrong with her??? |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2005|01:08 pm] |
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I'm not used to having so much time out. I don't know what to do with myself. |
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